Fierce Fangirl Friday: I have been emotionally compromised

CAUTION: this blog post contains spoilers to the 2 part Supernatural season Finale so if you haven’t watched it, don’t read this. Because I will spoil it.

Welcome to Fierce Fangirl Friday❤

Fierce Fangirl Friday is a weekly meme hosted by Jackie over at toomuchofabooknerd where you have the opportunity to do some healthy fangirling on your blog!

Whenever you have something, anything to fangirl about – whether it be a book, TV show, music, celebrities, your pet, the universe, finding your soulmate or just a recent meal that you’ve had – Fierce Fangirl Friday is your opportunity to do so! It doesn’t matter if it’s a recent obsession of yours or something you’ve been loving for a while!

The rules are simple ones, make sure you ping back to Jackie, and whenever there is a Friday that you need to fangirl, about anything, even if it’s not what your blog is usually about, have at it.

The Image I have set at the featured image was created by Jackie and it states in her post that we can use it, so I have. Thank you for creating it. 

I have not been a watcher of Supernatural since 2005, I didn’t get into it until I got really into Tumblr in mid-season 6, but I have watched every episode.

I have been through a lot in my time in the SPN Family. I spend many weeks a year in a state of shock and anxiety and not feeling okay with what happened, or angry because characters who aren’t main cast members are killed off and probably won’t come back.

Last night was the 2 part season finale of Season 12. Toward the end of the second episode, My Friend, Jared Padalecki tweeted  “How are  you liking the show?” and I replied, “I have been screaming for the hour and 51 minutes.”


That’s how it was going.


the last ten minutes of the show happened. And I am EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED.

Supernatural Season Finales are rarely fun. We’ve had what looked liked a deadly car crash, Sam’s died, Dean’s sold his soul to a demon, Dean’s died, Lucifer has been released for hell, Sam has died, Purgatory is opened, Dean and Cas are presumed dead/in purgatory, the angels fall from Heaven, Dean dies/becomes a demon, they kill Death/release God’s sister, and last season then a beacon of hope happened when Mary came back to life after being dead for over 30 years.



The first episode of the night was emotional enough. Dean finally got to say all the crap he’s been through and not blame himself. He hasn’t done anything like that since he shot himself in the dream in Season 3. Sam had a moment where he took responsibility and also did something by himself without feeling like he needed Dean in order to do it. Dean got to use the grenade launcher. I cried, I screamed, I cried. All the Winchester’s hugged. the British Men of Letters mess was cleaned up, and then I leaned back and thought “We have a whole nother hour of this nonsense.”

To be fair, they did tie off the threads of the season well and started new ones for next season. I am still in a state of raw and intense emotion.

One thing must be addressed before I go off the rails. The fact that Cas used the alias “James Novak” and thought no one would find him is amazing. It is only slightly less obvious than using the alias “I am Not Castiel.” But does he still used Jimmy’s driver’s license? Did he go to the DMV and renew Jimmy’s ID so he would have identification? Oh, Castiel and your shenanigans. *sobs for several more hours*

I don’t think Rowena or Crowley are dead. I’m honestly on the fence about Crowley, but the show and it’s writers have gotten so much crap about killing women that I don’t think they would kill off a character like Rowena without giving Ruth an on-screen death. That’s not fair to her and doesn’t do justice to her character. So hopefully she’ll be back. If Crowley is dead, his last words “Goodbye Boys” and how he died was excellent for the character. So if Mark Sheppard is back, excellent, if not, Crowley’s death was redeeming and good for his character.

In season seven, when Cas walked into the water after eating the leviathan, there weren’t any wings. When angels die, if they are really dead the scorched outlines of their wings appear on the ground. Because there were no wings there was no proof. No wings no proof. All we got was a trench coat floating away, and then we got Cas back and everything was good.

Until yesterday.

Dean kneeling over Cas and seeing those broken wings on the dirt. Well, I have been emotionally compromised. It’s not okay.

So as far as I know, and this was basically the first coherent non “WHAT HAVE THEY DONE” posts on Tumblr after the finale, Misha Collins is a signed Season Regular for Season 13. The big fan convention in Rome is this weekend, so we’ll find out for sure if Misha is leaving the show and announcing that he’d been signed was hiding that they were going to kill him. Castiel has become such a part of the fabric of the show, and such a part of Dean’s life that the show will be so different with no Cas that I don’t think the producers would do this to us. As far as I know, Cas walking into that lake was supposed to be the end of Cas, but the fans were… what’s the word… angry? Jerks about it? Flipped out? that they brought Cas back, and Misha has been a regular cast member ever since.

This can’t be the end of Castiel. It can’t be. His death didn’t mean anything. The death of Castiel can’t be meaningless. They can’t do to him what they have done to so many characters (Charlie Bradbury) and kill him for the emotional reaction. Crowley’s death had meaning and sacrifice. Cas got stabbed in the back by Lucifer. Castiel doesn’t get to die that way.

And the season 13 had better fix this nonsense.

I did reach out to Misha Collins for comment, but he’s been in a very weird twitter silence since around noon yesterday when he told all of us to record our live reactions to the last 10 minutes of the second episode of the finale.

Until next time Internet,



8 thoughts on “Fierce Fangirl Friday: I have been emotionally compromised

  1. YAY DEANNA!!! I’m so happy to see you joining me in my fangirling antics!
    But at the same time, I’m so sad for you!! I don’t watch Supernatural myself but a dear friend of mine does and I got to hear all about her feelings about the finale last night/this morning! I don’t know much about the show but I know that Castiel is a very dearly loved character so I hope they bring him back next season!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the whole idea of this meme/feature. It feels good to know you have a place to be excited with and for other people.
      It was Misha Collins 100th episode at Cas so I think they had to do something big with his character, but Cas’s death had no purpose. It wasn’t even a propelling plot point. It just happened. I don’t think the writers who I’m sure have had an ear full on twitter will leave that where it stands. People don’t just die on that show so I’m sure it will be fine. It’s just raw emotion of disbelieve at this point.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 😊😊 I love Misha Collins as a person (have you seen the videos of him and his son cooking? They crack me up 😂) and I hope his character comes back to the show! A lot of the other characters on the show have died and came back right? I can totally understand how you must be feeling right now!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cooking Fast and Fresh with West! They are so cute. He seems like a really good guy.
      No one dies on Supernatural forever, and they’ve killed The Boys many times. It’s just very stressful to be in the unknown about if they will a regular or if the whole dynamic of the show is changing.

      Liked by 1 person

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